a little update...

Oh, my Mom would've LOVED to have seen this pictures.  I've over and over again gone through the pictures, finding new ones that I love more than the last.  I can't get past this one, though.  It's just so perfect...  so sweet, so simple.  Ugh, I love it!

Many, many, many thanks (again) to my friend Jessica for shooting with me.  This image is hers, and I'm forever grateful that she captured it!!

The last few days I've had this overwhelming amount of gratitude in thinking about my Mom.  It's really incredible all the things that you realize you should've been thankful for...  the hours she spent doing laundry, the hundreds of pieces of fruit she cut up and peeled for us to eat, the sacrifices she made to save for us to go on vacation - she really was extraordinary.

I still don't like using past tense with my Mom.  It just sucks.  Every

time I talk about her, I have to think about being grammatically correct; I'm just constantly reminded she is gone.  

If she were here, I promise she'd cry at the picture above.  And the slideshow I put together of Bridgette and Chad:

click here to see their wedding day slideshow

Mr. and Mrs. Cagle

 Tera.  She's just a doll.  She and I go back to 6th grade, and she hasn't changed a bit - that's what I love about her.  I was more than honored to capture her big day.  The picture above shows a pendant that she carried in memory of her grandmother, which I just thought was so, so special.

 Yes, Tera is one of those girls... beautiful, tall, slender, gorgeous!!!  She really is, though, as beautiful inside as she is on the outside.  She's kind and easy-going and thoughtful and friendly - she was a gracious hostess as a bride.

 This cowboy sure does clean up well.  :)  And, they're just full of love for each other.  The ceremony and reception were just PERFECT.

Many congrats to you both, Bobby and Tera.  Thanks for the honor of being there!

And, many, many, many, many thanks to my friend Jessica Wright for joining me to capture this day. 

CLICK HERE TO SEE THEIR WEDDING SLIDESHOW.  :)

longing for "home"

A year ago today, my sweet Mom went to be with Jesus.  I'm not sure how to process this day, mostly because I haven't known how to process this past year.  I long to feel at "home" the way I felt with her.  Nothing feels right.  Life feels more black-and-white than full of color when I'm missing her.  There's a lot that is gone.  

I've walked through many emotions over this last year, and I know I'll continue to do that.  Today I am just sad.  Sad that I can't tell her about San Francisco.  Sad that I'm planning a family beach trip without my "family."  Sad that she won't know her children's spouses or her future grandchildren.  It just often doesn't seem fair.

More than ever, I'm aware of the fact that this world is not our home.  And, I long to be home...  There isn't a place right now that feels like a home to me, and I want that haven.  I hope that the longing I feel draws me closer to Jesus.  

BFF

 My 7 year-old niece and I were talking today about BFF's - you know "Best Friends Forever."  We were discussing if family members can be your BFF, or if that's just for "friends."  I don't remember the outcome of the conversation, but I think I'm pretty sure I know who my BFF is.  You're looking at her.  

 The words that I would use to describe Bridgette would be the following: fun, faithful, friendly, humble, content, gracious, beautiful.  

Fun: I met Bridgette at a summer camp.  Many of our memories together are based on the times we had together on those hot, humid afternoons.

Faithful: When my Mom called to tell me that she had brain cancer, I picked up the phone and told Bridgette she had to come be with me.  15 minutes later, I was weeping in her arms... smelling the Panera she brought me, of course.  :)

Friendly: Everyone likes Bridgette.  Enough said.

Humble: Bridgette has worked so hard for everything in her life and is so deserving of it all.  She ALWAYS puts other people in front of her own self/desires.

Content: Bridgette takes NOTHING for granted.  NOTHING.  She appreciates life for what it is - life that she is able to live.  She is seriously as happy with little as she would be with much.

Graciously Beautiful: I combined the last two adjectives because I don't know that I need to explain her further.  Especially if you know her, you know what I mean!

 She'll always hold a special place in my heart because she was so close to my sweet Momma.  They share the same name, and I know why.  One certain people have that name.  Momma loved Bridgette because she, 15 years ago, saw the character in her that I see now that I am older.  One day I hope to have a daughter named "Bridgett," which is the spelling between my Momma "Bridget" and my sweet friend "Bridgette."  

 In exactly 3 weeks, I'll be watching Bridgette drive away with her new husband, and I'll be crying.  Tears of PURE JOY - I'm so grateful for this man - who cares so deeply for my friend.  I'm so grateful for the union that I'll get to experience.  It's truly something that we have desired for a long, long time.

I know that he'll make her smile forever...

...And, if he doesn't, I'll come after him.  And, I'll bring Rodney Beasley.  :)

I love you, Bridgette. 

Chad, I'm so happy that you're marrying my best friend.  I'm excited to share this journey called life with my new "brother-in-law." 

one lucky girl!

 Since I've been "away" a good bit and travel nursing mostly, I haven't been photographing as much as I used to.  The "break" has been good for me - I was so excited about all the shoots I was able to do this week while I was home.  

The couple above is Adam and Jessica Wright.  On the "outside" they're the mega couple of incredible photographer and talented musician (with Act of Congress).  But, take a stroll into their home, and they are just Adam and Jessica -- a couple who lovingly walk life together with their spouse.  I was so grateful that they appeased me and allowed me to do a little "at home" session with them.  

Earlier in the week, though, I got to steal Jessica away to shoot a wedding with me.  My long-time friend married her high-school sweetheart, and it was a sweet wedding.  I loved being apart of it.  Doesn't she look like Cinderella? 

Grandaddy

I can't even begin to express how grateful I am for the image above.  My friend, Jessica Wright, was taking pictures of our family when my grandparents came by.  She suggested that we get a few of them with the kids, and now it will be the last picture taken with my sweet Grandaddy.

He's had a quick, hard battle with some medical problems and is presently home on hospice, about to go see Jesus.  We got to spend some sweet time as a family together yesterday, and I was able to tell him that he was the greatest Grandaddy I could ever imagine.  Dad was able to tell him how proud he was to be his son, and I got to see him respond to his wife's voice over and over again.  

I don't understand this life sometimes.  I don't understand why people I love leave my side.  I don't understand why suffering and grief seem, at times, to be winning.  All I know to do is to cling to the promise that, while I'm weary/battered/bruised, "my Jesus makes all things new."  (lyrics from Andrew Peterson)

"For troubles without number surround me, and my heart fails within me.  I am poor and needy, but the Lord takes thought for me.  You are my help and my deliverer, O Lord, do not delay.  Come quickly."

Remembering Mom #4

I VIVIDLY remember a shoot I did in the SAME location as the image above. My sister had taken Mason to visit Mom one morning, and I happened to be over there. She was playing with him in the yard, and I took the opportunity to take some images of the two of them - just playing... I went back and looked at the blog post I did from that little session and loved what I saw.
(If you want a refresher, click HERE.)
It was hard to be back home without her. Going home just doesn't feel the same. As one of my friends says, it's like all the color has been stripped from Birmingham. Now, don't get me wrong... I have some GREAT friends and family members in the city, but it's just not the same. Not at all.
The first time I flew home after Mom passed away was so anti-climatic. I'd never flown into Birmingham without my Mom coming to get me. I went to Enterprise to rent a car and just started bawling crying. I felt bad for the poor salesman because he had not a clue what was going on with me. :) It's like a story Mom would tell. Ha!
It's getting easier to go home, but I still don't like it. I still want her to pick me up - and to want to take me to eat some of my favorite foods - and to cook me dinner - and to play with the kids in the yard. Until then, I want to enjoy them as she would... which means slowing down, living simply, playing outside, and taking my camera with me: