Do you ever feel both happy and sad?

I know that seems like a bizarre blog post title, but sometimes I feel that way. If you know me very well, you know that my mom has been and continues to battle cancer every day. It's a miserable thing that often seems to take all my tears, all my hopes, and all my future dreams. Yet, each day is another day for me to have great time with my mother. See the dilemma?

At church this morning I felt the connection with the music. I feel the connection of the sadness of Jesus on the cross and the resounding joy of Him rising from the dead. I feel the weight of the sins of this world and the promise of righteousness. I grieve with the fears of this earth but rejoice with the hope of heaven.

I often feel lost in this irony, but I continue to go on. I love the song we sang this morning that says about Jesus: "He takes my darkness, and He turns it into light." What a promise!

Here is my incredible mother (pictured, of course, with her oldest grandmother). She and my father are the most giving people I know, and Mom would do anything for anyone. I've never heard a judgmental word come out of her mouth: She strikes up conversations with people all the time. She loves to love people; you should see her with her grandchildren. She makes certain that her friends and family know she loves them. She never complains. Ever. Ever.

She just had a birthday, and I wish her many, many, many more. And, if we don't get those many mores, I'll cry all the tears in the world - but then be glad that she is with Jesus. There goes the irony again.


I also went to a wedding this weekend. One of my oldest camp friends got married, and it was so wonderful to be a guest at a wedding. (It's been a while!) She looked beautiful, and she and her groom were obviously happy. What a joy to witness two people who genuinely care about each other recite special, intimate vows.

Congrats to the new Mrs!