longing for "home"

A year ago today, my sweet Mom went to be with Jesus.  I'm not sure how to process this day, mostly because I haven't known how to process this past year.  I long to feel at "home" the way I felt with her.  Nothing feels right.  Life feels more black-and-white than full of color when I'm missing her.  There's a lot that is gone.  

I've walked through many emotions over this last year, and I know I'll continue to do that.  Today I am just sad.  Sad that I can't tell her about San Francisco.  Sad that I'm planning a family beach trip without my "family."  Sad that she won't know her children's spouses or her future grandchildren.  It just often doesn't seem fair.

More than ever, I'm aware of the fact that this world is not our home.  And, I long to be home...  There isn't a place right now that feels like a home to me, and I want that haven.  I hope that the longing I feel draws me closer to Jesus.